


As Long As It's Not Trump

by lemonbitch



Category: Ratatouille (2007), Shrek Series
Genre: Bestiality, Crack, Don't Like Don't Read, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Non-Graphic Smut, Shrinking, hawt yaoiz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-18 05:02:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8150006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonbitch/pseuds/lemonbitch
Summary: Ted Cruz got more than he asked for after he implied he wants to fuck a rat. Spoiler: he fucks a rat.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Listen. I know this is disgusting. But I'm known for writing gross shit now so why stop at Hetalia fanfic? Gotta take full advantage of the political discourse. Don't worry, this isn't a detailed or long smut. I have some morals left.

Ted Cruz woke up from what he could only describe as a strange dream. He was surrounded by... rats. Beautiful, sexy rats. Unfortunately this also turned into a nightmare when the rats turned into the mocking faces of other politicians kinkshaming him for letting his rat fetish slip. If only he wasn't so stupid as to imply he would fuck a rat. Well he would fuck a rat, but no one was meant to know.

As his eyes adjusted, he couldn't help but think that something wasn't right. He felt... tiny. Like he was the size of the rats he wanted to have sex with so badly. He found himself in a room where everything was gigantic. He had either turned into a Borrower or he was in a rat's house. A fairy appeared in front of him, hopefully she would make sense of this.

"Any idea what all of this is?" he asked the mysterious woman.  
"I'm your Fairy Godmother, allow me to explain," said the slightly plump middle-aged fairy, "you're here because you wished you could have sex with a rat."  
"Oh god."  
"Well I hope I haven't got the wrong person because your dream is about to come true. A rather handsome French rat has had a thing for politicians for some time. It would only be for the better if I, the Fairy Godmother, granted your deepest wish. You've been shrunken down to an appropriate size of course."  
"Wow... really?" Ted pinched himself to make sure he wasn't in another crazy dream, "but would the public know?"  
"Oh they'll have no idea. But there is another catch." the Fairy Godmother suddenly sounded slightly less cheerful,  
"Great. A dream come true and I have to admit I'm the zodiac killer or-"  
"Oh no no," she interrupted, "you won't have to admit your crimes, but everything comes with a price. You'll be Donald Trump's sex slave for a day if you fuck the rat."

Fairy Godmother's explanation caught Ted Cruz off guard. Maybe he should've kept his mouth shut after all. The opportunity to act out your deepest desire is too good to be true, especially for this guy. At a regular size you can't fuck a rat no matter how small your dick is. But was this really worth the price? Ted Cruz didn't like Donald Trump at all and the idea of being his slave in any sense was sickening. He already looked horrible when fully clothed, the idea of him naked was enough to make Ted gag.

"Okay but why?" Ted asked, trying to hide his disgust.  
"Fairy Godmothers have wishes too." she winked and vanished in an explosion of glitter.

Ted paused to try and comprehend what was happening. He had been shrunken down and he was about to... fuck a rat? It was almost too good to be true, even if he did have to serve Donald Trump afterwards. He turned around to see the bed was now surrounded by miniature candles. He pinched himself once more, but judging by the fact that he didn't wake up, he had to assume this was reality.

"So..." a voice from behind woke him from his thoughts "you wanna do this or what?"

This must be that French rat the Fairy Godmother mentioned, although he didn't seem to have a thick accent. He was everything Ted wanted. The grey fur; the whiskers, the thick rodent butt. The rat walked up to him on 2 legs.

"Pleased to meet you, I'm Remy, a chef." he introduced himself.  
"I'm Ted Cruz, a politician and rumored zodiac killer but no one can prove that's tru-" he was silenced by the rat who put a finger to his lips.  
"You're even hotter in person." Remy whispered.  
"I'm guessing you want me to take you to dinner first?" Ted asked.

To Ted's surprise, Remy leaped onto the bed and laid down in a slow and sexual manner. The candles made him even more appealing to Ted.

"Oh no I want you to fuck me right now." Remy stated bluntly.

With that statement Remy got onto his hands and knees, exposing himself to the zodiac killer. All Ted could think about was how thicc this rat was. He had never seen a more magnificent ass in his life. Remy had such a tight hole under that tail too. They were both fully erect already, it was almost too much. Ted ripped off his clothes and went in, not wanting to wait another second to get himself balls-deep in the rodent booty.

* * *

The morning after, Ted woke up next to the rat of his dreams. It was real! He had really just fucked a rat! A very curvaceous rat too. Remy was still fast asleep, and with the probably painful state of his butt after that night Ted didn't want to disturb him. The Fairy Godmother appeared before him again to change him back to his regular size escort him to his next location: Donald Trump's Red Room. The zodiac killer had agreed to the Fairy's terms. A day with Trump was definitely worth that beautiful night with Remy. In a flash Ted found himself on his knees, tied up with a gag and a collar. The collar was clipped to a leash, and on the other end of that leash was Donald Trump. He was also barely dressed with a miniature bulge in his black leathery thong. This sight almost made Ted Cruz vomit, but he knew what he was getting into.

"I'm gonna put my wall in you, and you're gonna pay for it." Trump whispered.

 


End file.
